So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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