Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
