How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
