It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just had sex on a roof
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
