it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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