We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
