My friends, they love my intelligence
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
