the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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