I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
