i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My balls are so social today.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
