I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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