Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
