You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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