Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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