you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
