I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
