Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
