Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
