His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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