fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize