Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
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Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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