he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
