This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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