you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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