You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
