I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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