yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
