Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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