remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
