his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
