I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
