Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
