Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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