he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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