I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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