The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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