I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
