I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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