I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
