I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
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Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
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I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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