Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Text me some of your sweat
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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