God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
