I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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