i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize