He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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