Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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