So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize