so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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