hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
