In the future we'll all be gay
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize