Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize