we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
