thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
