Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
