Sponge bath it is.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
