Kiss
Puke
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
