do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was CRYING into my vagina
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
