I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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