oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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