the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize