So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
