I molested 6 butterflies tonight
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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