I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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