how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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