dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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