Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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