If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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